1. I got a job at Google, but when I shouted Yahoo in excitement they fired me.
2. Birth control pills are 2nd most effective methods of controlling population. School Fees continues to be No. 1
3. I'm never having breakfast at a French café again. French cafés give me the crepes!!
4. If you've to think twice before pronouncing the Brand's name, it's definitely going to be expensive.
5. I always wonder how Men managed to find entire continents. I can't even find the butter in the fridge.
6. The problem with TV remote is that you can't ring it when you are not finding it.
7. Suicide bombers are so style concerned that they always dress to kill.
8. The inventor of the snooze button has died. His funeral will take place tomorrow at 6:00, 6:09, 6:18, 6:27, and 6:36....
9. A woman expects you to read between the lines while she draws a circle.
10. Hollywood, is an industry. Bollywood, is a family business.
11. Me : Dude, me and my girlfriend are getting married.
Friend : Wow! when?
Me : Me on 27th Apr and she on 14th June.
12. February 2016 is just 29 days. It still managed to have 5 Mondays.
What a sad month.