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Be punctual

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years serving the parish.


A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. Â He was late getting there, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

"I got my first impression of the parish from the very first confession I heard here. Â I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.

The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it.

He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister.

I was appalled. Â But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.".....

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. Â He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk.

"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician.

"In fact, I had the honor of being the very first person to go to him for confession."


Moral: DON'T EVER BE LATE FOR A MEETING.


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Funny Quotes( Change Your Mood)

Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take
>them while driving.
>
>  Having one child makes you a parent; having two you
>are a referee.
>
>  Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
>always right and the other is husband !
>
>  I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I
>tried - but they wanted cash
>
>  Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
>
>   Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry
>the one you cannot live without... but whatever you
>do, you'll regret it later.
>
>  You can't buy love .. but you pay heavily for it
>
>  True friends stab you in the front
>
>  Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for
>hurting me.
>
>  Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not
>vote.
>
>  Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting
>before you get tired
>
>  Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to
>others.
>
>  A successful marriage requires falling in love many
>times, always with the same person.
>
>  It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his
>job, he still ends up with the same boss.
>
>  Real friends are the ones who survive transitions
>between address books.
>
>  Saving is the best thing. Especially when your
>parents have done it for you.
>
>  Wise men talk because they have something to say;
>fools talk because they have to say something
>
>  They call our language the mother tongue because the
>father seldom gets to speak


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Faith, after all no one has seen God

A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband: 




Lady:                     I lost my Husband  
Inspector:           What is his height 
Lady:                     I never noticed 
Inspector:           Slim or healthy 
Lady:                     Not slim can be healthy 
Inspector:           Colour of eyes 
Lady:                     Never noticed 
Inspector:           Colour of hair 
Lady:                     Changes according to season 
Inspector:           What was he wearing 
Lady:                     suit/casuals I don’t remember exactly 
Inspector:           Was somebody with him ????????? 
Lady:                     Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin,  tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the lady started crying….. 
Inspector:  Lets search for the dog first !!!!!!!  


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Search For Lost Husband

A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband: 




Lady:                     I lost my Husband  
Inspector:           What is his height 
Lady:                     I never noticed 
Inspector:           Slim or healthy 
Lady:                     Not slim can be healthy 
Inspector:           Colour of eyes 
Lady:                     Never noticed 
Inspector:           Colour of hair 
Lady:                     Changes according to season 
Inspector:           What was he wearing 
Lady:                     suit/casuals I don’t remember exactly 
Inspector:           Was somebody with him ????????? 
Lady:                     Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin,  tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the lady started crying….. 
Inspector:  Lets search for the dog first !!!!!!!  


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Delivered by FeedBurner

Very meaningful

AN AMERICAN VISITED INDIA AND WENT BACK TO AMERICA
WHERE HE MET HIS INDIAN FRIEND WHO ASKED HIM

HOW DID U FIND MY COUNTRY ?

THE AMERICAN SAID IT IS A GREAT COUNTRY
WITH SOLID ANCIENT HISTORY
AND IMMENSELY RICH WITH NATURAL RESOURCES.

THE INDIAN FRIEND THEN ASKED …
HOW DID U FIND INDIANS …….??

INDIANS??

WHO INDIANS??

I DIDNT FIND OR MET A SINGLE INDIAN
THERE IN INDIA……

WHAT NONSENSE??
WHO ELSE COULD U MET IN INDIA THEN……??

THE AMERICAN SAID ……
IN KASHMIR I MET A KASHMIRI–
IN PUNJAB A PANJABI—–
IN BIHAR,MAHARASTRA, RAJASTHAN, BENGAL,TAMILNADU,KERALA
BIHARI,MARATHI, MARWADI, BENGALI,TAMILIAN, MALAYALI………

THEN I MET
A MUSLIM,
A HINDU
A CHRISTIAN,
A JAIN,
A BUDDHIST
AND MANY MANY MANY MORE
BUT NOT A SINGLE INDIAN DID I MEET

THINK HOW SERIOUS THIS IS..

THE DAY WOULD NOT BE FAR OFF WHEN INDEED WE WOULD
BECOME A COLLECTION OF NATION STATES AS SOME
REGIONAL ANTI-NATIONAL POLITICIANS WANT ..

FIGHT BACK -
ALWAYS SAY I AM INDIAN First


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