Art At Beach....................



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THE COW! - ESSAY BY IAS CANDIDATE


An essay written on the INDIAN COW by a candidate appearing for IAS exam.
This was published in the Marathi daily news paper  - Loksatta



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For Hard Workers Only..............



A man came home  from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year  old son  waiting for him at the door.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the  man.
SON: "Daddy, how much do  you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man  said angrily.
SON: "I  just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an  hour?"
DAD: "If you must  know, I make Rs.100 an hour."

"Oh," the little boy replied,  with his head down.Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I  please borrow Rs.50?"

The  father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can  borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you  march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you  are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish  behavior."

The little boy quietly  went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's  questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some  money?

After about an hour or so, the  man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something  he really needed to buy with that Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for  money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and  opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've  been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the  man.

"It's been a  long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.50 you  asked for." The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank  you daddy!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry  again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up  at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father  grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy  replied.

"Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have  dinner with you."

Share this story with someone you like....

But even better, share Rs.100 worth of time with someone you love. It's just a  short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let  time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those  who really matter to us, those close ! to our hearts.

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Success To A Happy Married Life..



A man and a woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.


For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife ' s bedside.


She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents.


"When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."


The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.


"Honey," he said "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"


"Oh, that?" she said. "That ' s the money I made from selling the dolls."  : )

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Why Couples Argue



Why do couples argue? Setting aside the sheer fact that two human beings attempting to share and merge two separate lives full of two absolutely different chemical make-ups, feelings, behaviors, pasts, preferences, dislikes and lifestyles;

who are also trying to share both physical and mental space in each other’s worlds is enough to cause an argument this question can be answered in one simple word. Power.

While statistics show that couples argue about money more than anything else, the truth is everything two people argue about – whether they are married or not, school yard friends or family is a matter of having, regaining and holding onto personal power. Sad, but true!


If you take a look at nature and the animal kingdom, you can easily see how power struggles seem to commence every disagreement known to wildlife or man. The struggle for power is what drives war and it is exactly what drives couples to argue.

The bottom line is that every person loves to be agreed with. It is human nature to feel elated and justified when someone else feels as you do. If you were to take a worldwide poll about any subject, you would immediately side with the people who agreed with you, whether you liked them or not. So in couple hood, whether to watch the newest edition of 24 or American Idol is about having the power to be agreed with.

In other words, to be right. In marriage or partnerships success cannot be bound to being agreed with at all times. Your partner is a completely different person with patterns of thoughts that are deeply engrained and they are not going to agree with you on everything. Thinking otherwise is immature and breeds trouble. You are also not going to hold the “power” in the relationship to decide and make the rules without starting a war; silent or otherwise. Caution goes to those who try to make others agree with them and who place their happiness and power in always being right.

There are millions of hurdles in relationships. However, thinking that you know someone else so well or feeling so positioned in your opinions that you feel they can go without question is a personality flaw all your own. It would be like using a map of Canada to navigate the United States. You will get nowhere.

Why couples argue is because more often then not, one person feels they are right. If your husband hung out with friends after work and you feel strongly that this isn’t appropriate – you have engaged in a power struggle to be right. If you are arguing about money, it is about who has the power. The thing is that each person holds a power all their own and it doesn’t have to be agreed upon by something or someone else in order to be validated. Or at least it shouldn’t. What makes relationships so exciting is that you allow your self to love someone who is different than you, and embrace those differences whether you agree with them or not.

Some issues may be serious. Relationship experts indicate that most couples argue over the same thing time and time again. For instance, you may be hurt that your partner is not as romantic as you feel they should be. Each and every time you argue about what groceries to buy, money, housework or where to go on vacation, you are really arguing about the fact that your partner is not romantic enough for you.

In your own head, you have decided that real and true love is obvious and that PDA is appropriate. You have built a pattern of thought that thinks “if he/she loved me, they would do this…” or “if they loved me they would see how important this is to me.” You are really arguing over the power to be right. Try as you may, you can’t change people and very few will live up to every expectation that you have of how things should be. Sometimes, you have to take things for what they are and realize that no one – not even your mate – has the power to make you feel one way or the other. It is only you reacting out of your own power struggle and insecurities that does this.

When you understand this completely and can be happy even when you don’t feel powerful, you can truly be in a relationship that is fulfilling and honest.

Another reason why couples argue is because very few use their words with integrity. How many times have you planned an argument, or written a letter to your significant other with a “plan” in mind. This time, you want to be heard; you want them to know everything you feel and have to say.

Why don’t you just say it? If people could learn, especially in marriages to be honest from the beginning and to stop sugar coating their thoughts and words to make them ‘agreeable” to someone else – arguments would not last long. For instance, if it completely irritates you that your spouse doesn’t initiate sex, why don’t you just say “You need to initiate sex more!” Leave it at that. Instead, feelings get hurt and you feel like your ‘power’ has been taken away.

More than likely, few of us are mind readers. You may think you know what someone else is thinking but this ‘knowledge’ is based on you – not them. It goes back to using the wrong map.

To save time, irritation and the relationship – letting go of the need to be validated, to be right and to hold the power to change someone else based on what you think combined with succinct honesty can keep couples from arguing and building up walls of resentment. You aren’t going to like everything about your spouse. Sometimes, you won’t like anything about them and you will wonder how you ever believed you were compatible.

But take a breath and minute to step back and see what sort of power and need to be right you are really arguing back. Then readjust your position and be honest with your words. The result will be happier and healthier relationships – still not free of arguments- but at least free of personal struggles for power.

Article Source: professorshouse.com


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Life is like that..................


"U love someone
U marry someone else.


The one u marry
becomes ur wife or husband.


And the one u loved
becomes the password of ur mail id"



---------------



There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.


There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it.



---------------

If someone says u r ugly, its ok, if someone says u r stupid, its ok,


If someone says u r a genius slap him as tight as you can cos there is
limit of kidding n someone just crossed it.



---------------



Three dreams of a man:


To be as handsome as his mother thinks.


To be as rich as his child believes.


To have as many women as his wife suspects...



---------------



Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is the liver & wife
the kidney.


If the liver fails, the kidney fails. If the kidney fails, the liver
manages with other kidney.

----------------

The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed
it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!

---------------



Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne

denge.



---------------



What's the diff between Dava & Daru?


Dava is like a girlfriend, that comes with an expiry date and


Daru is like a wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.



---------------



Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?


Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or
wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai.



---------------


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Delhi IIT-JEE topper is just 14 & Home-Schooled


NEW DELHI: The boy sat hunched, his eyes on the floor and his hands held in a twisted clasp below his knees, clearly uncomfortable with all the attention.

On Wednesday, 14-year-old Sahal Kaushik left everyone gasping in disbelief by not only becoming the youngest ever to crack the tough IIT-JEE test but also topping it in Delhi and notching an all-India rank of 33.

Sahal, schooled at home by his mother, Ruchi Kaushik, a doctor-turned-homemaker, replied after what seemed an eternity to the barrage of questions ^ which IIT would he join? Would he study electronics engineering? He looked up: "I want to study pure science, physics or mathematics, not engineering." He looked down again. "I took the JEE because I could also get science courses through it."

He looks like any other 14-year-old, but is clearly very special. Sahal could spell out long words when he was just two, he recited tables till 100 at the age of four, and by the time he was six, he had finished reading H G Well's 'Time Machine'. The child's brain is obviously wired differently.

He muttered something to the effect that topping JEE in Delhi wasn't a "big deal". Then a long pause. Was he doing some complex mental maths, someone asked. "No," he smiled, "not today." He said he attributed his success to his mother and his "physics sir" but his all-time idol was Albert Einstein. He also wanted to do research in astrophysics. His mother added Sahal may go for a five-year integrated MSc in physics at IIT-Kanpur.

There is no age bar for entering IIT, but a candidate is required to clear class XII. So, Sahal enrolled with Vandana International School, Dwarka, for two years. He scored 78% in PCM ^ marks that might not be enough to get him into a half-decent Delhi University college. Asked about his lacklustre class XII results, Sahal said, "That's because I studied for only four days for each paper."

"This boy doesn't need a pen and paper. He solved JEE orally before selecting the answers. He speaks less, thinks more," said U P Singh, Sahal's mentor at Narayan IIT Academy. In the last two years, Sahal was given a separate group of teachers who taught him exclusively for six hours, six days a week.

"When he came to us at the age of 12 or 13, he said he was interested in electrostatics and also answered complex mathematical problems by just calculating them in the mind. I had never seen anyone like him before," Singh said. "But he is what he is thanks to his mother who sacrificed her career to mentor him so well," he added.

Sahal joined school only in 2006 and cleared class X in 2008. Before he was introduced to classroom teaching, his mother taught him "like it should be". He never took any exam, even through NIOS. "I realised very early that my child was different. I didn't send him to a school as I thought it would make him dull. I faced a lot of social pressure when I quit my practice and started teaching him at home 12 years ago. But it has paid off," said Ruchi Kaushik.

She remembered that she never taught Sahal according to any set pattern. "Sometimes, we would study geography for days together. On some days, he only read novels. When he read Charles Dickens, I told him about society in London back then, and its history too. That's how he learnt," she explained.
Sahal's father, who is in the Army, is posted in Assam. His sister, who is two years younger to him, also studies at home. "My daughter was initially slightly dyslexic but she has overcome it now. She is more into arts and more outgoing than Sahal," Ruchi said.

Sahal has many "older" friends from the coaching centre. His mother has invested Rs 15 lakh to put together a library at home. "All our salary goes into this. We now have more than 2,000 books and Sahal has already read them all," Ruchi said.

Does Sahal have any hobbies? Any special interests? "He knows all about Indian mythology," said Ruchi. "He loves reading about Egyptian history and anthropology." Her daughter, Saras, reminds her, "He also knows horse-riding and swimming."

Little Saras said her brother has won the Olympiads in maths, physics, chemistry, biology and has also worked with Dr Ratnashree, head of Nehru Planetarium, on calibrations in Jantar Mantar. So did Ruchi ever try finding the reason for her son's gifts? "Not really. That's the way he is."



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Motivational Quotes







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Short PJs


(1) An Ant saw strawberry juice & shouted: "Aaaah at last I visited the red sea!!!!"

(2) Two cockroaches were admitted in ICU,

The first Cockroach asked: "Raid???"

The second Cockroach replied: "No, Shoe!!!"

(3) An NRI sent a blank sms to his wife, why?

He didn't want to talk to her!!!

(4) A man hit his brand new car in to the wall, why?

He wanted to test whether the airbags are working!!!

(5) Policeman caught a drunk man & asked: "Why your eyes are red?",

The drunk man replied: "Actually i drunk tomato sauce while i was sleeping!!!"

(6) Two mad people were fighting on motorcycle, why?

They were arguing about 'who will sit near the window'!!!

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Think Before You...............


Today before you think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak


Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat


Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion


Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven


Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren


Before you argue about your dirty house; someone didn't clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets


Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet


And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job


But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker


And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around

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Motivational Quotes


1) If a drop of water falls in lake there is no identity.But if it falls on a leaf of lotus it shine like a pearl.so choose the best place where you would shine..


2) Never expect things to happen..struggle and make them happen. never expect yourself to be given a good value..create a value of ur own


3) Falling down is not defeat...defeat is when ur refuse to get up...


4) Ship is always safe at shore... but is is not built for it


5) When ur successful your well wishers know who  you are when you are unsuccessful you know who ur well wishers are


6) It is great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell  him/her


7)  "To the world you might be one person, but  to one person you just might be the world


8) "Even the word 'IMPOSSIBLE' says 'I M POSSIBLE' "

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Microsoft looking for New Chairman!



Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Arun an Indian (Mumbai) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave.

2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.

Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Arun turns to the other candidate and says 'Kaisa hai re tu'

The other candidate answers 'Accha hai re'

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Troubles (Mobile SMS)



Troubles are like a washing machine....
They Twist, Turn & Knock us around,
but in the end we come out Cleaner,
Brighter & Better than Before.

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Ripley's Believe It or Not!



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Honest Woodcutter


One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

******

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.

"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord.. It is a misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez , You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez."

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Decoding a genius



Next year, Warren Buffett, the legendary investor who ranked third on
Forbes' 2010 list of the world's richest men, comes to India. Though
this is Buffett's first visit to India, he will be pleasantly
surprised by the adulation that he commands in the country. Thousands
of stock market investors pay daily homage to his genius by eschewing
the fads of the day - day trading, technical analysis, etc. - and
sticking to the time-tested value-investing approach of which Buffett
is the finest apostle (if we take Benjamin Graham, his guru, to be the
original prophet of this cult).

However, one fears that in the midst of the media hoopla that will

inevitably accompany Buffett's visit, the real significance of what he
represents will get lost. And that is: we do not need to condemn
ourselves to mediocre performance in the markets. We do not even need
to be content with middling results as one could get by investing in
index funds. Even without his obvious genius we can produce market-
beating results, provided we take time out to study his methods, and
then display the discipline required in their application.

What follows is a curtain-raiser on Buffett's investment methods.


A business-like approach

Robert Hagstrom, author of The Warren Buffett Way, says that the first
thing to understand about Buffett's approach to investing is that
whether he intends to purchase a company's stocks or the entire
company, he always behaves more as a business analyst rather than as
an investment analyst. He examines a company on four parameters: its
business, its management, its finances, and finally, its valuation.

EVALUATING THE BUSINESS

Understanding the fundamentals of the business, Buffett believes, is
important because it gives you confidence in your investment
decisions. You are then unlikely to get scared into selling your
stocks if for some reason their prices plummet after your purchase.
While evaluating a business, Buffett applies three criteria:

Simple business. If your research leads to the conclusion that the

business has great prospects, you will be able to say so with greater
confidence in the case of a simple business than in the case of a
complex one.

Take the examples of some of Buffett's major investments. Coca Cola is

a great business because of its brand strength and its worldwide
distribution network. Washington Post, the newspaper, is another
business that he understands very well from having owned another
newspaper earlier. Wells Fargo, the bank, is also a simple business:
make intelligent loans so that non-performing assets remain low, and
keep a tight rein on cost of operation.

Says Veer Sardesai, a Pune-based financial planner who is an avowed

practitioner of the Buffett school of investing: “Do not invest in the
next new idea if you do not understand it. Buffett practised what he
preached by staying away from dotcom stocks in the late nineties.”

Consistent operating history. Buffett likes to invest in businesses

that have remained the same for decades. He says: “Severe change and
exceptional returns don't mix.” Coca Cola, Gillette, etc are all
businesses that have been selling the same products and growing
steadily.

Buffett does not like to invest in businesses that change or get

disrupted every few years due to technological or other changes. If
that happens, it becomes impossible to predict future earnings growth
(which is important for calculating the intrinsic value of a business
with certainty). So he avoids both companies that are changing their
businesses and turnarounds (they seldom turn, he believes). For the
same reason, he avoids tech companies (you don't want to be in a
business that competes against thousands of very smart MITians and
IITians burning the midnight oil at startups to create tomorrow's new
technologies that will render yours obsolete).

Favourable long-term prospects. Buffett likes to invest in companies

that possess what he refers to as “economic moats”. A moat is a clear
competitive advantage that protects the company against competitors.
The best of companies have deep and wide moats: advantages that enable
them to earn a lot of money every year; and their advantages endure
for a long time span.

A strong brand name, a patent, a high entry barrier, and high cost of

replacement (in terms of both time and money, which makes it difficult
for a customer to replace one supplier with a rival) are some of the
factors that create an economic moat.

Such companies are also referred to as franchises or consumer

monopolies. Companies that do not possess competitive advantages are
referred to as commodities. A franchise has the following additional
characteristics: one, there is high demand for its goods and services;
two, it has no close substitute; and three, it belongs to an industry
that is not regulated.

The vast majority of companies are commodities; very few are

franchises.
Franchises have many advantages: because of the goodwill that they
enjoy among their customers they can increase the prices of their
products without fear of losing market share. This in turn allows them
to weather inflationary pressures (which raise input costs and erode
margins of lesser players) better.

Commodity businesses can compete only on price. The only way a

commodity business can be profitable is by being the lowest-cost
provider. This kind of competitive advantage can be hard to sustain.
Commodity businesses do well only when demand is high and supply fails
to keep pace. But when such periods will arrive, and how long they
will last, is extremely difficult to predict. Moreover, such periods
are few and far between. Sardesai cites the examples of three stocks
in India which he believes possess these above-mentioned
characteristics: “Using Buffett's criteria, I have invested in three
companies. The first is Colgate. In many parts of India toothpastes
are often referred to as 'Colgate'. That is a testimony to the power
of this brand. It is a simple business of selling toothpastes and
tooth brushes. Another company is Housing Development Finance
Corporation (HDFC), which is synonymous with home loans. Every home
loan customer will consider HDFC in his or her list of institutions
for a home loan. And the third is Indian Tobacco Company (ITC), the
cigarette giant. It has a number of established brands like Wills,
India Kings, and so on. ITC can increase the prices of these brands
without facing a dip in demand.”

EVALUATING THE MANAGEMENT

Buffett likes to invest in companies that are led by management that
possesses both character and competence, and which takes decisions
that are in the interests of shareholders. Here are some of the
criteria on which he judges management:

Is it rational? Buffett believes that one of the most important

functions that management performs is that of allocator of capital.
How rationally it performs this task determines its quality. As
businesses mature, their investment needs decline and they begin to
yield a lot of cash. According to Buffett, whether to distribute this
surplus or retain it should be decided in a rational manner.

If the company can deploy these earnings to earn a high rate of

return, then it should retain these earnings. But if it cannot, then
it should return this money to shareholders either in the form of a
dividend or through buy back of shares (the latter, by reducing the
number of shares outstanding, increases earnings per share even
without an increase in profit after tax, and hence leads to
appreciation in share price).

Sardesai cites the example of Colgate's management in this regard:

“The shareholder friendly management of this company recently returned
excess capital to its shareholders.”

Instead of adopting one of these approaches, management often tries to

buy growth. However, acquisitions are hard to pull off. Often the
price paid is excessive and the difficulties involved in assimilating
the new company, and its corporate culture, are underestimated. More
often than not, such takeovers do not yield the desired synergy. Thus,
a lot of money is spent without adding to the parent's intrinsic
value.

Is management candid and honest? Buffett believes that management must

report fully both the company's successes and failures. Berkshire's
Hathway's annual reports are themselves a model of candour. When
problems occur, he discusses them at length in the annual report.

Commenting on the need for management that has shareholders' interests

at its heart, Sardesai says: “It is vital that the management is
honest and transparent with its shareholders. In India, this is
absolutely imperative given the large number of fly-by-night operators
in the past.” He cites the examples of the management of HDFC and ITC
which, he says, are known for their honest and transparent dealings
with shareholders.

Does management avoid the institutional imperative? A lot of failures

in business occur because managers feel compelled to do what their
competitors are doing. Such mindless imitation eventually spells doom.
For instance, in the insurance business, when competition intensifies,
premiums can fall to such levels where it is no longer remunerative to
do business. In such cases, wise management refrains from writing
policies.

EVALUATING THE FINANCES

These are some of the financial numbers that Buffett looks at:
Return on equity. RoE is the ratio of operating earnings to
shareholders' equity. Most analysts pay a lot of attention to how much
the earnings per share (EPS) has increased over the previous year.
Buffett does not regard this as a good measure. His logic: most
companies retain a portion of their previous year's earnings. In
effect, more capital is deployed each year and this helps to boost
next year's EPS. A truer test of economic performance, according to
him, is whether the company manages to increase its RoE, that is,
whether the management is able to deploy the extra resources to earn a
higher rate of return. Buffett also believes that the mark of a good
business is that it should be able to achieve a high RoE without
taking on excess debt.

Book value. Buffett's annual letters to Berkshire Hathaway

shareholders always begin with a reference to how much the company's
per share book value has grown during the year. Buffett believes that
the percentage change in book value (shareholders' equity less
intangible assets) in any year corresponds closely with the change in
the intrinsic value of the company during the year. Hence, if per
share book value grows at a rapid rate, earnings will also grow
rapidly, and so will the stock price.

Earnings per share. According to Mary Buffett and David Clark, authors

of Buffettology, Buffett looks at the long-term (10-year) trend in EPS
growth. EPS must be robust every year and should show an upward trend.
Above all, avoid firms with erratic EPS trends. Admittedly, very few
companies will meet this criterion of a high and rising EPS over a 10-
year span. So when you come across one, grab it.

Owner earnings. Another measure that Buffett looks at is whether the

company is able to grow, what he calls, owner earnings. This is
defined as its cash flow (net profit plus depreciation, depletion,
amortisation, and other non-cash charges) less the amount of capital
expenditure and working capital the company may have used up. It is
not a mathematically precise measure since calculating future capital
expenditures requires some amount of estimation. But Buffett argues
that he would rather be vaguely right than precisely wrong.

Even if a company has a high net profit, it is not a very good

investment if its capital expenditure is high. Around 95 per cent of
US companies require capital expenditure that is roughly equal to
their depreciation rate. Buffett prefers companies that have low
capital expenditures and which throw off a lot of cash surpluses.

Profit margins. Buffett prefers high profit-margin companies as it

indicates that management has good control over costs and can convert
revenues into profits.

Market value to retained earnings. Buffett believes that every dollar

of retained earnings must result in the creation of a dollar or more
of market value. If additional capital is employed, and it fetches
above-average return, it will result in the company's market value
rising. This test, conducted over time, tells you whether management
has used the additional capital well.

THE QUEST FOR VALUE

According to Mumbai-based financial planner Vishal Dhawan, the one
Buffett lesson he has taken to heart is: “It's far better to buy a
wonderful business at a fair price than a fair business at a wonderful
price.” Let us now turn to how Buffett unearths attractively-valued
stocks.

Comparing stocks with bonds. According to author Timothy Vick, one of

the first hurdles that a stock must cross before Buffett will consider
it is that the yield from it must exceed the current yield on a 10-
year treasury bond. For instance, the current yield on 10-year paper
in India is 7.51 per cent. Now, the inverse of yield (earnings divided
by market price) is the PE ratio. A yield of 7.51 percent amounts to a
PE of 13.32. Therefore, in the current scenario Buffett will only
consider stocks trading at a PE of less than 13.32. In fact, he will
look at even lower PE stocks in order to provide himself with a margin
of safety since stock earnings are not as predictable as the coupons
from a bond.
He will consider paying a higher valuation only if he is fairly
confident that EPS will grow rapidly.

Discounted cash flow approach. The discounted cash flow method was

developed by John Burr Williams and explained in his book The theory
of investment value. According to this theory, the value of a business
is the total of net cash flow expected over its life discounted by an
appropriate interest rate. (Buffett uses owner earnings as the cash
flow stream: owner earnings is net cash flow less capital
expenditures).
In this calculation, there are several uncertainties, say, regarding
future earnings. Buffett tries to minimise this by selecting companies
that have a consistent earnings history, and whose earnings are hence
expected to grow in a predictable manner in future as well.
As for the discount rate, Buffett uses the current risk-free interest
rate. For many years, he used the yield of the 30-year treasury bond.
When interest rates fell below 7 per cent, he began to use a 10 per
cent discount rate. Academicians argue that Buffett should use a
discount rate higher than that of risk-free government bonds. Buffett
disagrees. He argues that since he only selects companies whose
earnings are highly predictable, using the risk-free rate is fine. If
the stock is trading at around 75 per cent or less than the intrinsic
value, he buys it.

Profit by applying these methods in a disciplined way to your stock

picking.

Source : Value Research

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Brilliant Doubts - Unanswered


01.If all the nations in the world are in debt(i am not joking. Even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird).


02.When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought).


03.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd).


04.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking).


05.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows).


06.Can you cry under water? (let me try).


07.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else).


08.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows.)


09.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell).


10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes).


11.What does OK actually mean?.


12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch).


13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed).


14.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments).


15.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help).


16.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes you can).


17.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it).


18.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically).


19.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (I didn't had a chance to try).


20.Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? (very nice).


21.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice?).


22.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law).

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I asked Lord.... (Mobile SMS)


"I asked the Lord,

'How do I get the best out of life?'

The Lord said,

'Face your past without regrets.

Handle your present with confidence.

And prepare for the future without fear!'"

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A gift to mom


Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.
 

  The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
 

  The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."
 

  The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
 

  The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
 

  The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her thank you notes. "She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
 

  "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
 

  "Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
 

  "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

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God is at the window


There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.


He Practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting A little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was Walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck Square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see His sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, " Sally, let's wash the Dishes." But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in The kitchen." Then she whispered to him, " Remember the duck?" So
Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go Fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make Supper."  Sally just smiled and said," Well that's all right because Johnny told Me he wanted to help." She whispered again, "Remember the duck?" So Sally Went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, He finally couldn't stand it any longer.  He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.  Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, "Sweetheart, I know.  You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long You would let Sally make a slave of you."

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... And the devil Keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad Habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ....whatever it is....You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing..... He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven.

 He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave Of you.

 The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness, He Not only forgives you, but He forgets . It is by God's grace and Mercy that we are saved.

 Go ahead and make the difference in someone's life today. Share This with a friend and always remember: God is at the window.

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Husband & Wife


A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again. "

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. "

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "shit.."

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Wealth, Success & Love


A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.


In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in"

"We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.


One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"


Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."


Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"


The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"

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Secret of Success


A young man asked Socrates the secret of Success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning. They met.


Socrates asked the young man to walk with him towards the river.


When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The man struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him there until he started turning blue.


The young man struggled hard and finally managed to get out and the first thing he did was to gasp and take deep breath. Socrates asked 'What you wanted the most when you were there?' The man replied 'Air'.


Socrates said 'that's the most secret to success. When you want success as badly as you wanted air, you will get it. There is no other secret'.

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Four Wives


There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.


He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

 


He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.


Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.


One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"


Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.


The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.


He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.


Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"


Moral :


Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives


a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.


b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.


c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.


d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.


Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament


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Struggle a little- then fly


Once a biology class was going

on.. The teacher was teaching the class on how a butterfly comes

out of its cocoon... He brought a live cocoon to demonstrate a butterfly

coming out... Unfortunately he was called out on an urgent task before

the butterfly could come out... But before he went he warned the class that

on no condition should anyone help the butterfly to come out... He

went out and after some time the cocoon opened and the butterfly

started to come out...

One boy taking pity on the butterfly's struggle helped it

to come out... The sir returned and saw the butterfly and then asked the class...

Who helped the butterfly..

The boy raised his hand and confessed...

The sir said u did grave error in helping the butterfly...

In helping it u deprived the butterfly of it life's goal...

The initial struggle out of the cocoon should help the butterfly strengthen its wings...

now it will never fly...

We are also in some ways like this butterfly...


Now read on .....

Sometimes Struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

If we were to go through life without any obstacles,

It would cripple us.

We would not be as strong as we could have been

And we could never fly.

So next time you are faced with an obstacle,

A challenge, or a problem,

Struggle a little- then fly.

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It's more blessed to give than to receive


A young man, a student in one of the universities, was one day taking a walk with a professor, who was commonly called the students' friend for his kindness to those who waited on his instructions.

As they went along, they saw lying in the path a pair of old shoes, which were supposed to belong to a poor man who was working in a field close by, and who had nearly finished his day's work . . .


Student turned to the professor, saying: "Let us play the man a trick:

we will hide his shoes, and hide ourselves behind those bushes, and wait to see his perplexity when he cannot find them ..."


"My young friend," answered the professor, "We should never amuse ourselves at the expense of the poor . . . But you are rich, and may give yourself a much greater pleasure by means of this poor man.

Put a coin in each shoe, and then we will hide ourselves and watch how this affects him." Visit: The student did so and they both placed themselves behind the bushes close by. The poor man soon finished his work, and came across the field to the path where he had left his coat and shoes . . .


While putting on his coat he slipped his foot into one of his shoes, but feeling something hard, he stooped down to feel what it was, and found the coin. Astonishment and wonder were seen upon his countenance.

He gazed upon the coin, turned it around and looked at it again and again.


He then looked around him on all sides, but no person was to be seen. He now put the money into his pocket, and proceeded to put on the other shoe; but his surprise was doubled on finding the other coin . . .

His feelings overcame him . . . he fell upon his knees, looked up to heaven and uttered aloud a fervent thanksgiving in which he spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without bread, whom this timely bounty, from some unknown hand, would save from perishing . . .

The student stood there deeply affected, and his eyes filled with tears.

"Now," said the professor, are you not much better pleased than if you had played your intended trick?"


The youth replied, "You have taught me a lesson which I will never forget. .. I feel now the truth of these words, which I never understood before: "It's more blessed to give than to receive."

If you want happiness....For a lifetime - help someone . . .

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LIFE I LEARNED FROM A JIGSAW PUZZLE


Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally.


When things aren't going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.


Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.


Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.


When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure to come back later (see above).


The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a guidebook.


Variety is the spice of life.  It's the different colors and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.


Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of security and order.


Don't be afraid to try different combination. Some matches are surprising.


Take time to celebrate your successes (even little ones).


Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can't be rushed.

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Greatest Paradox


Many years ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fees.


The student struck a deal saying, "I will pay your fee the day I win my first case in the court".


Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course. When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, the student reminded him of the deal and pushed days.


Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.


The teacher put forward his argument saying: "If I win this case, as per the court of law, the student has to pay me as the case is about his non-payment of dues.


And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case.

So either way I will have to get the money". Equally brilliant, the student argued back saying: "If I win the case, as per the court of law, I don't have to pay anything to the teacher as the case is about my non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, I don't have to pay him because I haven't won my first case yet.


So either way, I am not going to pay the teacher anything".


This is one of the greatest paradoxe ' s ever recorded in history.

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ONE PARAGRAPH THAT EXPLAINS LIFE



Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which  conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?


To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over -- 5 million children start playing tennis, 50 thousand learn to play tennis, 5 thousand learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?". And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"


Happiness keeps u Sweet, Trials keep u Strong, Sorrow keeps u Human, Failure Keeps u Humble, Success keeps u Glowing, But only God Keeps u Going.....


Keep Going.....

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The Most Important Discoveries


Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.


Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.


Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.


Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.


Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.


Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered

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Magical frog


 A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
.
. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
.
. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
.
. three wishes."
.
.
.
. The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,but I failed

. to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
.
. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
.
.
.
. The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be
.
. the most beautiful woman in the world.
.
.
.
. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
.
. Your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women

. will flock to. "
.
.
.
. The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
.
. Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, -she's the most

. beautiful woman in the world!
.
. For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
.
. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
.
. world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said,

. "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
.
.
.
. So, -she's the richest woman in the world!
.
. The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
.
. like a mild heart attack."
.
.
.
. Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them..
.
.
.
. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
.
. here and continue feeling good.
.
. . Male readers: Please scroll down.
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.
.
. The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
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.
.
. Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
.
. smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
.
.
.
. PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to
.
. show that women never listen!

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Parent style


After 48 years of marriage, an elderly Gujrati man in Bombay calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of misery is enough!"

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.


"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!"


Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, I'll take care of this."

She calls Bombay immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??" and she hangs up.


The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying their own airfare!!"


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Boss calling his employee


A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had phoned in sick one day.

Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello?"

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle : "ME."

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SICK LEAVE POLICY


TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY

*******

SICKNESS

No excuse...We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

*******

AN OPERATION

We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation. We believe that as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.

*******

DEATH

Other than your own. This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that someone else can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently let you leave 1 hour early, provided your share of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.

*******

DEATH (YOUR OWN):

This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to train your replacement.

*******

ALSO

Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:00-8:15, and so on. If you're unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again.


We appreciate your cooperation.

THE MANAGEMENT

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Jigsaw puzzle


When you first look at it, you wonder - how you're ever gonna make the pieces fit?


But, take your time. Go step by step!


As the fragments come together, you will see the picture!   It's the same with life!


Even if it seems like a mess at the start, every incident that happens to you come together and shapes it Don't give up in between - there is a beautiful picture waiting to UNFOLD!!!

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Funny Quotes and Thoughts


"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper."

"If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark."

"Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf."

"An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing."

"Love is so confusing -  you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do?Turn out the lights!"

"I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier."

"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things."

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

"When your dreams turn to dust, it's time to vacuum."

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. "

"It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week."

"Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills. Making the last car payment."

"They've finally come up with the perfect office computer.If it makes a mistake,it blames another computer."

"Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.But not in that order"

"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half."

"Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children."

"Compatible Your money fits in the salesperson's wallet."

"When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?".If the bus came would I be standing here?"

"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use."

"There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side."

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."

"Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you're finished. "

"Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference."

"Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. "

"We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our butt then things get worse."

"It's always darkest before dawn So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. "

"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office"

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."

"The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. "

"If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?"

"You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? "

"Honesty may be the best policy,  but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,dishonesty is the second-best policy."

"If you can't convince them, confuse them."

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of  what I am saying."

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."

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LIFE WITHOUT GIRLS


LIFE WITHOUT GIRLS:

The result

Markets silent

Streets empty

The police at rest

All mobile companies in loss

No SMS

No Flowers

No Valentine

No Candles

No Perfumes

All the men directed to Heaven.

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