Perfect Program & Perfect Sleep



A wife awoke early one morning to the sounds of her husband angrily banging around pots and pans in the kitchens.

When she goes downstairs, she sees that he is looking for something to eat but, more importantly, is very upset about something.


"What's the problem, darling? Didn't your program work?"

"It worked. I wrote that code until the wee hours of the morning, and it worked!"


"Then what's the matter? Were there a lot of bugs in it?"

"I took special pains to eliminate the bugs. It worked, and it worked perfectly!"


"So what's wrong?"

"I was so tired when I finished, I decided to take a little nap, just for a few minutes."


"Did you not sleep well? Did you have a nightmare?" the concerned wife inquired.

"No, I slept perfectly well ... with my head on the backspace key."


*******


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Adi Shankaracharya quotes- Googled extracts


1. He who has killed the shark of the senses with the sword of firm dispassion can cross the sea of samsara without impediment.

2. One should never permit carelessness in one's adherence to God.

3. Who can disturb the peace and happiness of a man if he has the true spirit of renunciation and has controlled his desires, even if he be the poorest, sleeping only in the temple halls and choultries or under trees or on the bare ground and just with a deer skin to cover.

4. Crazy man ! Why do you worry so much about your wife and property? why don't you seek out the Truth ? Know that in these three worlds it is only the association with the good and holy that can help you in crossing safely the ocean of life.

5. So long as one has any association with this awful sense of being the doer there cannot be the least achievement of liberation which is something very different.

6. The ascetic with matted locks, the man with the shaven head or one with hair pulled out, or the man parading in the ochre robes -- they all have eyes but yet do not see. All these are but deceptions for cheating the world, for filling their bellies. ( Renunciation does not lie in external appearance, but in inward thought, attitude and feeling).

7. When the supreme reality is not understood, the study of the scriptures is useless, and study of the scriptures is useless when the supreme reality has been understood.

8. Realising one's true nature as pure consciousness, one should remain always established in oneself, like a king surrounded by his army, and should redirect all that is back into God.

9. Abandoning all actions and breaking free from the bonds of achievements, the wise and intelligent should apply themselves to self-knowledge.

10. It is wealth only that causes all harm and brings about one's ruin. Bear this truth in mind always. Know that the pursuit of wealth does not lead one to happiness at all. The rich fear and are even afraid of their own sons. This is the outcome of riches anywhere and ever.

11. Who are you ? Who am I ? From Where did I come ? Who is my mother, who is my father ? -- enquire thus and you will, then realise that the entire world of experience, all the worries and problems are but a dream, a mere hallucination, born of imagination and delusion. With such a realisation, you will be freed from the delusions of the world.

One fellow asked Saint Bal" Is there God in this world?"
Saint answered "Yes"
Fellow" But I do not see him"
Saint " Who is your father/"
Fellow " Ganapat Patil"
Saint " How do you know?"
Fellow" People say so.'
Saint " so your believe them"
Fellow is silent
Saint " Beleive me . I have seen God."

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First Day in Office


A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....


On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:


"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"


The voice from the other side responded:


"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're

talking to?"


"No" replied the trainee.


"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"


The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to,you
IDIOT?"


"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.


"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone

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What to Wear?


A man, called to an audit by the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. 'Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper.'


Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. 'Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.'


Confused, the man went to his buddy, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma. 'Let me tell you a story,'


replied the buddy.


'A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel.'


The man protested: 'What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?'


The buddy responded: "'No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed"

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INDIA in 1835, Look What The Britishers Did!!


Click to Enlarge the picture

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Sand & Stone



This story tells of two friends walking through the desert. During some point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.


The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:


They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.


The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:


The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand, and now, you write on a stone. Why?"


The other friend replied, "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand, where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. When someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone, where no wind can ever erase it."


Learn to write your hurts in sand, and to carve your benefits in stone.

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Namashkaar - Air India Welcomes You


*Namashkaar... Air India mein sabko swaagath hai.

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board Air India.

We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and partly due to the search for a missing tyre.

This is flight 981 to Thiruvananthapuram. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in India. And, if luck is in your favor, we may even be landing on your village!

I request every body to relax and enjoy the journey. this aircraft is privileged to have made the least number of accidents in it's total flying period. That is, only 72 minor accidents in 62 years.

Air India has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our Passengers have reached their destination.

Food will be served onboard if we take off. For your convenience, air sickness bags will be supplied right after food so that you can avoid vomitting on the floor.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve Complimentary DHARU and vada paavw. For our not-so-religious
passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Emirates Airlines, where their movie will be
visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the Cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!

In order to catch a look at important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible. For the best view , if however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the
landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly  fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who
can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.

Once again, thank you for flying by Air India.*

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The Mountain


I looked and saw a mountain,
Could not see the peak,
I thought I'd try and climb it,
For a way up I would seek.

As I gazed upon this mountain,
And planned my climb to go,
My enthusiasm began to waver,
Could I make it, yes or no?

Sat there for a while longer,
Afraid to start the climb,
My body said to try it,
But stay was in my mind.

I now had such a conflict,
One which I did not need,
Which of my mind or body,
Should I at that time heed?

Should I listen to my body?
Which said, I'm strong enough,
Once we start the climbing,
It will not be that tough.

Or should I stand and listen?
To thoughts within my mind,
What happens if you fail?
And fall so far behind.

Just gazing at that mountain,
I knew what I must do,
Must get my mind and body,
Thinking as one, not two.

I decided at that moment,
There was not time to waste,
Had to make a great decision,
And proceed with utmost haste.

Should I decide to climb that mountain,
I surely then must chase,
My way directly to the top,
Beginning at the base.

Or should I instead take option?
To stay on level ground,
I still had to reach the other side,
By simply going around.

I could not stand just stagnant,
Not knowing where to go,
So I prayed for just a moment,
For Allah the way to show.

I then made my decision,
On which route I would tread,
I used neither thoughts of body,
Nor thoughts within my head.

Instead I simply chose,
To do what seemed so right,
And strode into the distance,
Towards whatever was my plight.

Then as I took my first steps,
It no longer seemed so clear,
For that mountain I had been watching,
Just seemed to disappear.
I did not stop my striding,

Although confusion was so rife,
Then suddenly became so clear,
That mountain was my life.

I could stop still no longer,
Simply wondering what to do,
For longer that I waited,
The more that mountain grew.

Yes, our lives are just like mountains,
We can no longer hide,
When the climbing gets a little tough,
Just ask Allah to guide.

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Get Stronger


When the difficulties come, and pile so high on top of one
Another that you can't see the way forward, you have a
Choice. You can choose to give up, or you can choose to get
Stronger.

You can choose to bury your dreams under impenetrable layers
Of worry and fear. Or you can choose to make those dreams
Even more magnificent and compelling so that you cannot
Resist being pulled forward by them.

You can choose to feel sorry for yourself, or you can choose
To feel the power of your true purpose. You can look for who
Is to blame, or you can look for ways to take full
Responsibility for the situation.

This is your life, and even the difficult stretches are very
Much worth living. In fact, it is during the challenging
Times that you build new capacity for greater richness.

When there is no obvious reason to be positive, choose to be
More positive than ever before. Instead of being overwhelmed
By the problems, choose to be energized by the positive
Possibilities hidden within them.

Feel the genuine confidence that comes from knowing you
Always have a choice. And choose to live the positive value
In whatever life may send.

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Maths


Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:


"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
"Three and three... "


His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.


His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny's mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.


The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."

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Mudras for Good Health



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Wishing Well


A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make  a  wish, too. But she leaned  over too much,  fell into the well, and drowned.

The  husband was stunned  for a while but then smiled " It really works ! "

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India In Coming Years



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FIVE WAYS TO BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF


1. Don’t take others too seriously. Try to understand that no one is perfect. If you feel that someone is being overtly critical then be frank and point it out to that person.

2. Accept the fact that you are made a certain way. If you aren’t happy with your weight or looks, try and improve on it. But don’t put yourself down.

3. Don’t try to blend in with others. Just because all the people in your group are wearing saris for a wedding, you don’t have to do the same. Wear what you are comfortable in. If you are comfortable in your skin, you will exude a certain confidence that will make you attractive to others.

4. Don’t put up with any kind of bullying. Whether it’s in your college, work or home, make sure that you put forth your point of view firmly. It’s great to adjust, but not at the cost of changing yourself drastically.

5. If you are happy with yourself, then you will be sure of your thoughts and beliefs. You may not follow the herd mentality, but at the same time, you won’t end up being different just for the heck of it.

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Your Religion Is Not Important



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The wooden bowl


A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four-year old grandson.


The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.


The family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.


When he grasped the glass often milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about grandfather," said the son.


I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the dinner table.


Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.


Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather's direction,


he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.



One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.


He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food from when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.


The words so struck the parents that they were speechless.


Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.



That evening the husband took grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.



For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb.


If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day that building blocks are being laid for the child's future.

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MARRIAGE



If U're in a relationship, married or none, read this. U'll know why at the end.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton

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E.I.D - M.U.B.A.R.A.K







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Your A to Z














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We get back in life what we give to others



There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court.


The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, "ur Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."


What is the moral of the story? We get back in life what we give to others.


Whenever you take an action, ask yourself this question - Am I giving fair value for the wages or money I hope to make ?


Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving ? Themselves -- more than anyone else.


Honesty can be put across gently. Some people take pride in being brutally honest. It seems they are getting a bigger kick out of the brutality than the honesty. Choice of words and tact are important.

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Living Statues All Over the World
















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Fresh Fish and Shark


Picture taken at Georgia Aquarium, pictured is...Image via Wikipedia

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish.


But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades.


So to feed the Japanese population,


fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.


The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste.


To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats.


They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer.


However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish.


The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin.


After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving.


They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference.


Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste.


The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish.


So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan? If you were consulting the fish industry, what


would you recommend?


scroll down for answer :

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Here is How Japanese Fish Stay Fresh:


To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks.


But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.


Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired & dull,


so we need a Shark in our life to keep us awake and moving?


Basically in our lives Sharks are new challenges to keep us active and lively.....
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Artist Creates Weird Igloo from 322 Refrigerators


German artist Ralf Schmerberg has created a bizarre-looking igloo, in the middle of Hamburg, to send a message about the country’s uncontrolled waste of energy.

Entitled “Wastefulness is the biggest source of Energy”, Schemerberg’s igloo aims to raise awareness to the amount of energy people are wasting nowadays. A huge electrical meter set up outside the igloo shows passers-by how much electrical energy the 322 old fridges would consume, and is meant to inspire them to think carefully about how much energy they are wasting every day. According to recent studies, Germany could save up to 40% of its energy, if everyday people would use electricity more efficiently.

The refrigerator igloo was sponsored by a German energy provider and will be exhibited in Hamburg’s Gänsemarkt until November 9th. The bizarre installation is 5.6 meters high and 11 meters in diameter, and was built using 322 old refrigerators and 1,718 meters of wire. On the inside, visitors can admire a funny electrical installations made up of colorful blinking lights.





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THE MASTER'S LESSON ON GRATITUDE


According to legend, a young man while roaming the desert came across a spring of delicious crystal-clear water. The water was so sweet he filled his leather canteen so he could bring some back to a tribal elder who had been his teacher.


After a four-day journey he presented the water to the old man who took a deep drink, smiled warmly and thanked his student lavishly for the sweet water. The young man returned to his village with a happy heart.


Later, the teacher let another student taste the water. He spat it out, saying it was awful. It apparently had become stale because of the old leather container.


The student challenged his teacher: "Master, the water was foul. Why did you pretend to like it?"


The teacher replied, "You only tasted the water. I tasted the gift. The water was simply the container for an act of loving-kindness and nothing could be sweeter."!!!

SPIRITUAL COMMENTARY

We may understand this lesson best when we receive innocent gifts of love from young children. Whether it's a crushed paper painting or a clay figure, the natural and proper response is appreciation and expressed thankfulness because we love the idea within the gift.


Gratitude doesn't always come naturally. Unfortunately, most children and many adults value only the thing given rather than the feeling embodied in it. We should remind ourselves and teach our children about the beauty and purity of feelings and expressions of gratitude. After all, gifts from the heart are really gifts of the heart!! Also, when we express our gratitude,we must never forget that the highest of appreciation is not to utter mere words, but to live by them.


The essence of all beautiful art, all great art is gratitude! Gratitude is the sign of noble souls and the memory of it is stored in the heart and not the mind!

The next time you receive any gifts from anyone, no matter however small it may be, remember the love behind and dont judge the gift with its appearance! Have a deep sense of gratitude for whatever you receive in life in whatever form it may be!

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