Essay answers from school (USA) history quizzes (Very Funny)


The following are actual essay answers from school (USA) history quizzes. Even the spelling has been left as it was.

 Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

 The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire's in the East and the sun sets in the West.


Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

 Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

 Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

 The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays

 Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

 Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonised by Bernard Shaw.

 Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offence.

 Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

 In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the Java.


Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice.

 They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.


Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

 Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel.

 Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.


Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot.


The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.


The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

 Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus.

 Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.

 Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

 The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine.

 The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.

 Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.

 

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