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North Indian Wife Vs South Indian Wife

*** WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A North Indian GIRL as WIFE ***

1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends
than her age.

2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and
after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.

3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are
bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to
movies, theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.

4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala,
aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after
eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with
chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder.

5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in
your monthly phone bill.

6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde.
Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that
she applies to cover her grey hair.

7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki
saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or
cooking yourself.

8. You are a very "ESpecial" person to her.

9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of
south india until she met you.

10. When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to
" walk out"

11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you
have in your home town.

12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you"
and "How are you"



*** WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South Indian GIRL as WIFE ***


1.Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or
Madras / Anna University .

2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with " ... I say..."

3. She shudders if you use four letter words.

4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil
Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract
coconut oil from her hair.)

5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.

6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.

7. Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and
surname combined (unless you are from Andhra)

8. When she mixes milk/curd and rice you are never sure whether it is
for the dog or for herself.

9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and
wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable
while you are melting in your singlet.

10. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth.

11. Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian
snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation' )

12. She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is
based on.

13. You have to give her jewellery, though she has already got plenty
of it ..

14. Her Mangal Sutra weighs more than the championship belts worn by
WWF wrestlers.

15. Her father thinks she is much smarter than you.


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PHOTOGRAPHS CLICKED AT RIGHT MOMENTS



















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Funny Santa Banta Jokes

Santa Singh at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Santa Singh says - "Santa Singh Married"


************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary
Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Santa Singh : U R great sir! Starting salary is
o.k.......but? ?
how much is DRIVING salary...?


************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa Singh and Banta Singh are driving a Car. Santa puts on the indicator
and asks Banta
to check whether its working. Banta puts his head
out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...


************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa Singh is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts
its 1 leg, and
says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he
wrote the conclusion.. ....
....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut -
it becomes deaf......"


************ ********* ********* ********* ********

A Tamilian call up Santa Singh and asks " tamil therima??"

Santa Singh got mad, angrily replied.... "Punjabi tera
baap!!!"


************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were looking at Egyptian mummy.
Santa Singh : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident
case.
Banta Singh : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC
1760!!!....


************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Santa Singh for an exam had studied only one essay
'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced
friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON,
I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY
TRUE
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.


************ ********* ********* ********* ********

Interviewar: what is ur qualification?
Santa Singh : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Santa Singh : (smiling) PASSED HIGH SCHOOL with
DIFFICULTY.. ..


************ ********* ********* ********* ********

In KBC

Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows?
Santa Singh : liquid state.....
Someone in Audience clapped.. Amitabh stunned, looks behind, IT WAS BANTA  SINGH..... ..



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Smart Boy

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a
Donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the
Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but
I have some bad news, the donkey died.'

 Chuck replied,
'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said,
'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

 Chuck said,
'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

 The farmer asked,
'What ya gonna do with him?

Chuck said,
'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said,
'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'

 Chuck said,
'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with
Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'

Chuck said,
'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.'

 The farmer said,
'Didn't anyone complain?'

 Chuck said,
'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'

 Chuck now works for the government.


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Candle never looses its light

A candle never loses
it's light
while lighting another candle
so ... never stop
sharing and helping others
it makes ur Life
more meaningful


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