The Fun Learning: Sep 3, 2011

Bachelors Degree in Corruption

National Corruption Institute Of India ( N C I I )

Affiliated To Both Houses Of Indian Parliament

Listed on the World Corruption Index as the World's Best C-School
Invites Applications for 3 Years Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in Corruption. (BDC)

Earn your BDC from the World's Most Reputed Institute for Corruption Studies

OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES:

Financial Theory and Practice

Transfer of funds through HAWAALA for creation of MASS GHOTALA
FINANCIAL NETWORKING -Movement of money through well engineered networks between State Party Units and Central Party Unit.
Solicitation methods to increase donations towards Party Fund.
Theory and application of Popular BRIBE concepts and methods like Chai Pani, Parcel, Change, Gift Box , Color TV, Foreign Trip and the ever popular Children's School Fees

Public Relations (PR) and Media Management

Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA.
Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.
Excellent training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY .Learn how to argue on TV with other Party people on TV like Professor Manish Tewari and Professor Ravi Shankar Prasad.

Develop public gestures like NAMASTE and HAND WAVING.

Learn the art of proving all allegations as “BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED”
Effectively refute STING OPERATIONS. Advanced course in proving that VIDEO FOOTAGE IS FALSE AND MANIPULATED.

Law and Order Module:

In this module you will learn how to:

Commit MURDER and RAPE

Bring LOCAL POLICE under your control

Get BAIL super fast if you are ever arrested.

Apply and get speedy ANTICIPATORY BAIL so you don’t get arrested in the first place!

FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special lectures by visiting Professors Shahbuddin and Pappu Yadav!

Advanced Riotology

Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY STICKS AND WEAPONS to engineer riots.

Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy and widespread dispersal of RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS

Form effective partnerships with local liquor stores for easy procurement of DESI DARU to get rioters high and ensure awesome rioting!

Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age exciting methods for INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION.

Introductory Kashmir method of inciting riots through STONE THROWING.

Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert tutelage of Professor Pravin Togadia.

Gain Extensive Knowledge From Our Faculty Of

World class Professors.

Special Courses In:

"2G SPECTRUM" “ A Telecommunications Perspective" By Professor Andimuthu Raja

''Flat Taking From Army Jawan'' By Professor Ashok Chavan
''The Correct Standard of Clean'' By Professor Lalit Bhanot
''Sports Medal or No Medal, In Corruption Always Get Gold Medal'' By Professor Suresh Kalmadi

"Application of Corruption on Non Human Species “ Stealing Money for Cattle Fodder" By Professor Laloo Prasad Yadav
"Building A Corridor For The Taj Mahal Can Cost More Money Than Building The Taj Mahal Itself" By Professor Mayawati Kumari.

...And Many Many More..!!

SO FORGET ALL B-SCHOOLS, BE COOL, JOIN

THE C-SCHOOL...

NCII IS THE BEST.

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Avoid mobile usage on the move

The girl did not have time to leave the bus as she was carelessly unboarding the bus while being busy talking on phone.

Her head got caught between the door leaf. The driver did not notice the passenger and traveled for a few meters, until he heard people screaming from the behind.

People often spend time talking while they are driving or in the bus, train and elevators. Do not use your mobile phone while you are on the move. Share this with all whom you care for!

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BANTA AND HIS BEER

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition held in Britain.

Banta Singh walks into a bar in London , orders 3 glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.The bartender asks him, “You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time.”

Banta Singh replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai , the other in Canada and I’m here in London . When they left home, we promised that we’ll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.”

The bartender admits this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

Banta Singh became a regular in the bar and would always drink the same way. He’d order 3 Beers and drink them in turn.

One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bar tender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss.”

Banta said, “Everyone’s fine; both my brothers are alive. The only thing is. .
I have QUIT drinking!”