The Fun Learning: Oct 19, 2011

Technical Support....querys (Funny)

Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one.
...............................
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my DVD out !!!
Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure it's really stuck.
Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn't inserted it yet. It's still on my desk . . . sorry. Thank you.
...............................
Tech Support: Click on the 'MY COMPUTER' icon on the
left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
...............................
Tech Support: Hello. How may I help you?
Male Customer: Hi .. . . I can't print.
Tech Support: Would you click on 'START' for me and . .
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me. I'm not Bill Gates!!!
...............................
Customer: Good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says . . . 'CAN'T FIND PRINTER'. I even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it!!!
...............................
Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech Support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah . . . . . .. . . . . thank you.
...............................
Tech Support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11 store.
...............................
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten steps backwards.
Customer: Okay..
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Wait a moment please. . .. . . . . Ah, that one does work. Thanks.
...............................
Tech Support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'.
Customer: Is that '7' in capital letters?
...............................
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech Support: Are you absolutely sure you used the correct password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure I saw my co-worker do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
...............................
Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape
Tech Support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry . . . Internet Explorer.
...............................
Customer: I have a huge problem! My friend has placed a screen saver on my computer . . . but, every time I move my mouse, it disappears.
...............................
Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it.
...............................

A woman customer called the Canon help desk because
she had a problem with her printer.
Tech Support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting next to me is by a window, and his printer is working fine!
...............................
.And last, but not least . . .

Tech Support: Okay George, press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now, type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a 'P'.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, George.
Customer: What do you mean ?
Tech Support: 'P' . . . on your keyboard, George.
Customer: I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!
...............................
This outta make you feel better about your computer skills!

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Dreamland

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Funny Pictures to make you smile

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General Knowledge...

1) Longest English Word:

Praetertranssubstan tiationalistical ly has 37 letters.

2) Book Without Letter "e" :

GADFY, written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain a
single word with 'e' in it

3) Word without Vowel:

Rhythm

Sky

Fry

Cry

4) Human Brain:

Organ of body which has no sensation when cut.

5) Crocodile :

Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating.

6) No:of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS :

They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea* **
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why

Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees :

1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp
teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.

What are They :

1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY':

LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down:
AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:
CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you:

FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves:

ROAD
6) You can never wet it:
SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:

YOUR NAME

In 24 Hours Average Human:

1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times

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Googleplex - The Office of Dreams

Google's corporate headquarters, fondly nicknamed the Googleplex, is located in Mountain View, California. Today its one of many offices Google have around the globe. While Google offices are not identical, they tend to share some essential elements. Here are a few things you might see in a Google workspace:

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7 Ways to catch a lion...

1. Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion .

2. Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also
run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.

3. Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment, there is a positive probability
that lion to be in the cage.
So set the trap, sit down and wait!

4. Inverse Transformation Method
We place a spherical cage in the forest
and enter it.
Perform an inverse transformation with
respect to lion.
Lion is in and we are out.

5. Thermodynamic Procedure:
We construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows
every thing to pass it except lions.
Then sweep the entire forest with it.

6. Integration Differention Method:
Integrate the forest over the entire area.
The lion is some where in the result.
So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t lion
to trace out the lion.

7. The Banta's Method:
DON'T EVEN TRY. YOU'LL GET CAUGHT BY THE LION.

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Little-known Facts about English Number Spellings

Letters A, B, C and D do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99.
Letter D comes for the first time in 100 (Hundred)

Letters A, B and C do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999.
Letter A comes for the first time in 1000 (Thousand)

Letters B and C do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999.
Letter B comes for the first time in 1,000,000,000 (Billion)

And.....

Letter C does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English Counting.