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Divorce
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband
a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no
more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and
Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club.But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no
more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and
Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club.But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
Father (Funny)
Lady On Phone:
"Hi Sir, I want To Meet & Talk To You.
You Are The Father Of One Of My Kids."
Man Is Stunned and says:
"Oh my God!"
R U Jessica?
No.
Pamela?
No.
Anna?
No
Christina?
No.
Joella?
No.
Elissa?
No.
Lady in confusion:
"Sir, I am The Class Teacher Of Your Son."
"Hi Sir, I want To Meet & Talk To You.
You Are The Father Of One Of My Kids."
Man Is Stunned and says:
"Oh my God!"
R U Jessica?
No.
Pamela?
No.
Anna?
No
Christina?
No.
Joella?
No.
Elissa?
No.
Lady in confusion:
"Sir, I am The Class Teacher Of Your Son."
Mistake
 |
| Do comment if you can find it |
Investor's reply to a Pretty Girl
For all the Wall Streeters
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high.
Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: What should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York CityGarden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out?
(Please list down the names and addresses of bars,restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why are most wives of the rich only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks & are not interesting,
but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, & who can only be your girlfriend?
(my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty.
Awesome reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions
like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than
$500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the
standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty,
and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but
my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year,
but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset,
and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation.
If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it long term - same goes with the
marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wise decision any assets with
great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would
only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy.
And by the way, you could make yourself a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better
chances than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps.
signed,
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high.
Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: What should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York CityGarden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out?
(Please list down the names and addresses of bars,restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why are most wives of the rich only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks & are not interesting,
but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, & who can only be your girlfriend?
(my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty.
Awesome reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions
like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than
$500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the
standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty,
and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but
my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year,
but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset,
and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation.
If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it long term - same goes with the
marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wise decision any assets with
great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would
only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy.
And by the way, you could make yourself a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better
chances than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps.
signed,
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