Why? Partial love is what most everyone does - is that enough? I say, all the way or walk. From birth to death, it’s not necessary to be able to love yourself and another totally. If that’s ok with you, it’s your choice to ignore life’s greatest opportunity. Falling short of being able to love yourself is always to fall short of loving another whatever your ego may say otherwise. One who loves themselves is most capable of loving all others, but love is highest with reciprocity with another who loves you in mutual totality. Is your love of self and another in a coupling enough to show the world as the best example of love’s expression?
No one can tell you how to love anymore than an expert in some sport can tell you all the secrets before you go on the court to face a tennis pro. The information helps, but in this case you have to be fit in all ways to even begin to play with total heart and focus regardless of prior ‘how to do’s’. Since in everything including deep love, the one showing up with more fears and blocks sets the pace in all couplings. A tennis pro is relegated to play at the level of the weaker except if the weaker is giving their all to blend.
Love going deep (meaning high) to the possible peaks comes through letting go of all mind obstructions either through meditation or full, deep, mutual love with no barriers. Your heart is your real self, and will never lie to you. Drop the mind except in situåtions calling for ‘mechanical functions’. The mind is a garbage collector while some of the garbage is useful, resting your mind in your heart, you will feel an overwhelming joy and bliss. Partial love is also a ‘garbage collector’ that continues to fill the barriers up for the ‘free flow of love’. The ‘free flow of love’ from both sides of a partnership has no ‘garbage in it’! To gain all the mind wants, and leave the heart broke is to miss the greatest opportunity on earth - the blessings of a ‘divine total love’.
Your heart hurts because love gets stuck or squeezed smaller in the mind. Not all in the heart can send the imprint to the mind if the mind is filled with too much clutter from the past. Letting your mind do the feelings, good or bad instead of ‘you’ creates ‘partial love’ which is ‘pain creating’. Love lets go of the mind which is left to ‘do things in life’. Let the heart open where someone is there to open their heart and likewise let go of the mind. If it ain’t happening, it’s probably time to move on, and pay attention to your heart to see where it is received in addition to you having an open, aware heart. As hard as it seems to know love to the ultimate, it’s really easy. Let go and the ‘surrender’ will happen!