SUPERB Definitions !!!

Wonderfully described definitions.......   

CIGARETTE: 
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE: 
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree  and a woman gains her master's

LECTURE: 
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

CONFERENCE: 
The confusion of one man  multiplied by the number present

COMPROMISE: 
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

TEARS: 
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power!

DICTIONARY: 
A place where divorce comes  before marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM: 
A place where everybody talks,  nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY: 
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

CLASSIC: 
A book which people praise, but never read

SMILE: 
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

OFFICE: 
A place where you can relax  after your strenuous home life

YAWN: 
The only time when some married men ever get to open 
their mouth

ETC: 
A sign to make others believe 
that you know more than you actually do

COMMITTEE: 
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done  together

EXPERIENCE: 
The name men give to their Mistakes

ATOM BOMB: 
An invention to bring an end 
to all inventions

PHILOSOPHER: 
A fool who torments himself 
during life, to be spoken of when dead

DIPLOMAT: 
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

OPPORTUNIST: 
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

OPTIMIST: 
A person who while falling  from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

PESSIMIST: 
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter inOPPORTUNITY

MISER: 
A person who lives poor 
so that he can die RICH!

FATHER: 
A banker provided by nature

CRIMINAL: 
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught

BOSS: 
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

POLITICIAN: 
Onewho shakesyourhand before elections and your Confidence 
Later

DOCTOR: 
A person who kills your ills 
by pills, and kills you by his bills!