Questions You Can Never Answer

    - Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

    - What is the speed of darkness?

    - Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

    - If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

    - Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

    - How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    - Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

    Did you ever stop and wonder...

    - Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

    - Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.'

    - Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    - Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    - Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

    - Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

    - Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    - If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    - If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

    - If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    - Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    Stop singing and read on.........

    - Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    - Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    - Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

    - Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    - Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

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