Confessions of a Gujarati

1. Every autowala, taxiwala, grocerywala is our kaka.
2. We never go to office, we go to HOFFIS!
3. The first rule of money - never use your own!
4. "Su nava juni" is our version of wassup?
5. Be it seven in the morning or 1am, gaathiyas are always welcome.
6. We keep an "ELARAM" to wake up in the morning.
7. No party is over without a round of GARBA.
8. We call all types of noodles "Meggi"!!!
9. When someone asks about a person, we say GENTLEMAN MANAS CCHEY
10. We have a PhD in bargaining by birth.
11. We can speak any language of the world in Gujarati!
12. We don't have feelings, we have FILLINGS!!!
13. Jai Shri Krishna = Hello and Good bye
14. All our conversations begin with kem 6, maja ma ne, and end with, koi saaru investment batavo ne...
15. We shout our guts out on international calls, thinking they can hear us better that way.
16. Swimming is not for us - we call it chhabchhabiya.
17. For us electricity never goes - only light does!!!!
18. We don't call people, we COAL them.
20. Chhas is our beer!
21. We are everywhere, all over the globe - deal with it...
22. We go to movie HOLE and take outside SNAKES for refreshments.
23. Mount Abu is Switzerland.
24. If a gujju starts Koffee with Karan, he would name it "Chhas with Chhagan".
25. A true gujju looks forward to eat Thai, Mexican, Italian, Chinese and Undhiyu at the cousin's wedding.
26. At least 50% of your contacts on you phone book end with the word BHAI.
27. Being Punjabi means more chapati, less rice; being Mallu means less chapati, more rice. Being Gujju - just eat more yaar, shu farak pade 6.
28. Gujjus believe Narendra Modi is the solution for everything - from fashion style to nation's progress.
29. Vile Parle and New Jersey feels like home - Apduj 6...
30. We will spend 1000 rupees for a 10 rupee free gifts, free ma male, etle maja aavi jai.
31. We eat home made theplas with chhundo and athanu on business class flight.
32. We can do Garba on any song in the world.
33. Falguni Pathak is Britney Spears for us.
34. After having chaat, bhelpuri, sevpuri, we make sure we ask for extra puri, and then a discount.
35. Order soup 1 by 2, u get more quantity - be smart.
36. If it is beeg (big), edible and free, go on dude, eat it...
37. Bombay+Gujarat+London+ America = whole world. Nothing else exists for us.
38. Everyone is invited to a Gujju home for lunch, and fed like you have come from the groom's side.
39. If all of a sudden you hear a dhoom machale ringtone or a loud scream or a loud chit chat amongst a group, immediately assume that you are amidst Gujjus.
40. Hindi humko jara bi nahi faata hai.
41. 15 or 50, your parents will always refer to you as their baby or babo.
42. CATBURY is the generic name for chocolate.
43. We take the constitution very seriously, everybody is called bhai and ben.
44. If you do not go for Navratri, you didn’t exist.
45. We all own Reliance collectively.
46. Dandiya is our Prom.
47. You pack according to a 5 night 6 day holiday when going for a one day picnic.
48. Time spent at a party - Dancing (10 minutes) Chitchat (10 minutes) Dinner (100 minutes)

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