In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Of course yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known
you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and
talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you
haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Of course yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your
wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and, in a very
quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me,
I’ll send you both to the electric chair.”
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